Hello lovely readers,
To the sounds and smells of sizzling purple cabbage in hot butter I write my latest musings.
I woke up today and felt a bit of a funk. Actually, I’ve been in said state for several days, even though the weather is beautiful, I’ve taken inspiring trail runs, I’ve been eating healthfully and mindfully, and the band is challenging me creatively and in a business, behind-the-scenes sense. I’ve been housesitting in a gorgeous, thoughtfully-decorated house for the past few days, which inspires me as it also ungrounds. This house is right across the street from my little apartment, which is convenient while at the same time a bit strange feeling, as my life feels split in two. I haven’t really moved in nor moved out.
So, that’s probably what’s up, in a nutshell. But I was feeling particularly funk-ified today. Henry knocked coffee all over my clothes this morning, so I was sans coverings and requested he grab me a dress while he was home collecting some of our things. I specified one that one be easy to find: hanging in my dresser, visible, and with large stripes. I put it on after the delivery and didn’t like it, but pretended like I did so my life would be more convenient, or to show myself that petty things like what one wears was something that I don’t buy into, being all evolved and liberated.
So I walked around all morning, puttering, feeling lackluster. I finally made my way to my apartment to grab the essentials (cabbage) and decided to change my outfit. I put on a skirt I had forgotten I liked, a new favorite shirt, handmade-by-a-friend earrings, and tied my hair back in a nice way. After applying the fresh mascara I had just purchased last week, I felt like I had just finished a really revealing yoga session, or gone for a hike, or drank a gallon of kombucha, or something. It astounded me how much better I felt, and how quickly that feeling was attained.
Does this make me un-evolved, self-absorbed, superficial? I don’t think so. When we consciously choose to dress and take care of ourselves in ways that are flattering, inspiring, colorful (at least for me), and lovely, that can really turn your day around.
One of the reverberations I’m still feeling from my first Vipassana nearly four years ago is this feeling that I shouldn’t appreciate physical objects or shouldn’t put effort into feeling beautiful and well-dressed and groomed. Although I know that Vipassana does not intentionally encourage its students to entirely dismiss the physical, it is something that has stuck with me: if I don’t like physical objects, I will be happier. As I grow and reflect on that 10-day period, I’m realizing that a more realistic, happier path is to appreciate the hell out of beautiful objects in your life, while understanding that they are impermanent and cannot bring lasting happiness. That sounds like the best of both worlds to me.